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Dec. 25th, 2025 04:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
iniquiticitysome thoughts about Aral's funeral, of which I am honestly pretty bummed we don't get too much info on:
- man.... everyone cutting the lock of their hair.... and Cordelia cutting her ENTIRE HAIR OFF. tiny bonfire!!! Now that's fitting. One wonders how long they all stood there.
- ok obviously everyone insanely gutted. but you know who has never anyone he actually cared about die before? Like this? Mark. Hi Mark. Have you met grief? Have a planet of mourning and mourners dumped onto you all at once, tsunami style. Would loooove to see inside his head. Alternatively, if he didn't really care that much, and had to put up a face for any events he's forced to attend? Also delicious! And Miles and Cordelia and Kareen all just.... annihilated by it. And he's all "ugh, this kinda sucks." Miles and Mark blow up after a state mourning event that Mark is not sufficiently sad enough? or Mark being a little jerk about Miles being "too" sad. Or Mark mostly being sad about Kareen which is insufficient to Miles. Ooooh yes.
- poor Jole either 1) not being able to attend his boyfriend's funeral OR 2) not being able to hold his girlfriend at his boyfriend's funeral. Delicious angst about secret relationships.
- Gregor being one of Aral's pallbearers is perfect. Covered this already but their relationship is the one I wish we had more of. So much rich territory there. Reagent. Estrangement and fear, leading into Aral's arrest. Then the restoration of the relationship - Prime Minister, Viceroy.
- You know what sucks? Having to do impSec for the funeral. Sorry Guy.
- You know who has also had no one die that he'll eventually have that blurred forgetting of? Illyan. And maybe that's good, you know? On one hand, forgetting someone who's passed away is so hard? But damn, that moment right after where you're just dying inside. And maybe it's a blessing for that to forget a little. Especially when you think of all the shit illyan never got to forget.
- I think it's very apt for Ivan to point out "lord vorkosigan" dying and Miles, for once in his life, sticking to the script. As he, can't help but wonder what he might have said. Perhaps this will be covered more in OJ&RQ (barely started) but grief annihilates you in insane ways and miles is a deranged person so can't help but wonder what deranged thoughts he had ...
- him snapping "don't call me that!" to someone calling him "count vorkosigan" and having to numbly backpedal
- wishing he was in some insane violent firefight
- him being furious about the rest of the empire being in mourning. no. that was my father. this is my grief!!!
- him being furious that people aren't grieving enough! especially komarr. no free press in that empire but one can imagine the radical komarran zines is ALLLLLL I am saying. Don't let Miles see any of that, Allegre. komarran equivalent of crab rave.
- yes barrayar has come a long way but sooooo many people seeing mutie miles at all the state events. And fat mutie Mark!!! "Obviously I knew, but.... THAT'S the new count vorkosigan?" And if it happens in public Miles just has to eat it, as always. Even now. And so much of his heroism is classified ...
- as a related aside, it tickles me pink forever that being dead and coming back again fixed even more physical but vaguely harmless bits of miles' disability and gave him this VASTLY more crippling invisible disability. Such a good bit.
- experiencing that "my life is grief and misery but it is a beautiful day" rage
- even though they haven't disagreed on anything in quite a while in this area: the new epiphany that he's Not his Father's Voting Deputy, anymore. It's just him.
- miles just wanting to be so drunk he can't process but sorry you have a week of grueling state funerals. Miles going to one of those state funerals propped up on synergine because he couldn't stop after one whiskey. His mother having to supervise his drinking because he can't stop after one whiskey.
- Cordelia your amazing husband died and you also can't die in a hole; you have to 1) go to grueling state funerals for a military culture you've loathed and fought against since day 1 worshiping him in all the way that you hated and you have to pretend to appreciate it and also 2) supervise your son's grief drinking
- also maybe covered in OJ&RQ, but I wonder if Cordelia and Aral meant to ask Oliver to be their thruple baby daddy while Aral was alive, but never got around to it because of work (yet another thing Barrayar took from Cordelia). Though I guess if Cordelia waited 3 years maybe not? Or maybe she did because it hurt so bad for so long they missed out.
- man.... everyone cutting the lock of their hair.... and Cordelia cutting her ENTIRE HAIR OFF. tiny bonfire!!! Now that's fitting. One wonders how long they all stood there.
- ok obviously everyone insanely gutted. but you know who has never anyone he actually cared about die before? Like this? Mark. Hi Mark. Have you met grief? Have a planet of mourning and mourners dumped onto you all at once, tsunami style. Would loooove to see inside his head. Alternatively, if he didn't really care that much, and had to put up a face for any events he's forced to attend? Also delicious! And Miles and Cordelia and Kareen all just.... annihilated by it. And he's all "ugh, this kinda sucks." Miles and Mark blow up after a state mourning event that Mark is not sufficiently sad enough? or Mark being a little jerk about Miles being "too" sad. Or Mark mostly being sad about Kareen which is insufficient to Miles. Ooooh yes.
- poor Jole either 1) not being able to attend his boyfriend's funeral OR 2) not being able to hold his girlfriend at his boyfriend's funeral. Delicious angst about secret relationships.
- Gregor being one of Aral's pallbearers is perfect. Covered this already but their relationship is the one I wish we had more of. So much rich territory there. Reagent. Estrangement and fear, leading into Aral's arrest. Then the restoration of the relationship - Prime Minister, Viceroy.
- You know what sucks? Having to do impSec for the funeral. Sorry Guy.
- You know who has also had no one die that he'll eventually have that blurred forgetting of? Illyan. And maybe that's good, you know? On one hand, forgetting someone who's passed away is so hard? But damn, that moment right after where you're just dying inside. And maybe it's a blessing for that to forget a little. Especially when you think of all the shit illyan never got to forget.
- I think it's very apt for Ivan to point out "lord vorkosigan" dying and Miles, for once in his life, sticking to the script. As he, can't help but wonder what he might have said. Perhaps this will be covered more in OJ&RQ (barely started) but grief annihilates you in insane ways and miles is a deranged person so can't help but wonder what deranged thoughts he had ...
- him snapping "don't call me that!" to someone calling him "count vorkosigan" and having to numbly backpedal
- wishing he was in some insane violent firefight
- him being furious about the rest of the empire being in mourning. no. that was my father. this is my grief!!!
- him being furious that people aren't grieving enough! especially komarr. no free press in that empire but one can imagine the radical komarran zines is ALLLLLL I am saying. Don't let Miles see any of that, Allegre. komarran equivalent of crab rave.
- yes barrayar has come a long way but sooooo many people seeing mutie miles at all the state events. And fat mutie Mark!!! "Obviously I knew, but.... THAT'S the new count vorkosigan?" And if it happens in public Miles just has to eat it, as always. Even now. And so much of his heroism is classified ...
- as a related aside, it tickles me pink forever that being dead and coming back again fixed even more physical but vaguely harmless bits of miles' disability and gave him this VASTLY more crippling invisible disability. Such a good bit.
- experiencing that "my life is grief and misery but it is a beautiful day" rage
- even though they haven't disagreed on anything in quite a while in this area: the new epiphany that he's Not his Father's Voting Deputy, anymore. It's just him.
- miles just wanting to be so drunk he can't process but sorry you have a week of grueling state funerals. Miles going to one of those state funerals propped up on synergine because he couldn't stop after one whiskey. His mother having to supervise his drinking because he can't stop after one whiskey.
- Cordelia your amazing husband died and you also can't die in a hole; you have to 1) go to grueling state funerals for a military culture you've loathed and fought against since day 1 worshiping him in all the way that you hated and you have to pretend to appreciate it and also 2) supervise your son's grief drinking
- also maybe covered in OJ&RQ, but I wonder if Cordelia and Aral meant to ask Oliver to be their thruple baby daddy while Aral was alive, but never got around to it because of work (yet another thing Barrayar took from Cordelia). Though I guess if Cordelia waited 3 years maybe not? Or maybe she did because it hurt so bad for so long they missed out.