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Jan. 12th, 2026 07:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
iniquiticityOmnia mutantur, nos et mutamur in illis. All things change, and we change with them. (Gregor)
As always: He was awoken by the soft charm of the alarm. Kiss Laisa.
As always: Shower, shave, put on undershirt, look at schedule, get dressed. Breakfast. Coffee. A lot of coffee.
New: Breakfast was scheduled reading about his grandfather's reign and correspondence about it. Emperor Ezar was .... Emperor Ezar had wrenched the Empire from his mad cousin and had broken it in like one of Count Piotr Vorkosigan's horses. Ezar had had his own terror, his own madness, and those who had said so at the time did not say so twice.
New: Try not to think about the hole inside him where Aral had been. Four weeks now. Which was ridiculous, when he thought about it. Often times there was an item in the schedule which involved writing condolence letters to families of dead soldiers. He was being insensitive to those people, probably, that he did not, every day, wake up and think of all the times he would have appreciated their insight. And he wasn't even Aral's real son. And the empire still needed to be run. And Aral would have been furious, if he stopped running the empire.
New: No lunch meeting, which meant he got to have lunch with Laisa.
As always: If he got to have lunch with Laisa, the meeting after lunch would be the worst one of the day.
As always: Guy with a message from Duv. Komarr, then.
As always: Guy not happy about whatever he was about to say. Chief of Imperial Security was not a role where anyone was ever happy. Nearly as unhappy as Emperor of Barrayar, Gregor thought. Nice to know his subordinates couldn't win as much as he couldn't, sometimes. Guy had a folder.
New: Guy politely and politically disclaiming Duv thought Gregor should see the folder. Guy thought the Komarrans should have been shot. Guy had told Duv to shoot them. Duv had demanded Gregor see it before moving forward. Duv and Guy usually got along.
New: The contents of the folder.
As always: The itching rage of the blood that pumped in his veins. His mad grand-uncle had acted on it, throwing ministers out of windows, slaughtering his family. His real father had acted on it, brutalizing his prisoners before dying in the Escobar failure. He was more confident than ever that his grandfather had acted on it, too, forcing Barrayar to obey him and finding mysterious retirements for those who did not.
New: He missed Aral more than he thought it was possible to miss anyone in the world. He had been so low he had jumped off a balcony and run away to fix lights and how could this be worse?!
New: Komarran radicals and their unflattering celebrations of the death of Aral Vorkosigan, the Butcher of Komarr. The glee that Gregor could feel emanating from each page, each gruesome comic, each gory little drawing, each stupid sharp poem. Essays on how they wished to spit on his grave. Directions on how to reverse burn incense for him. Get-togethers to talk about how much they hated him and how terrible he was and how disgusting his behavior had been.
As always: He considered great and terrible violence against the enemies of his Imperium.
New: He could have mass-killed them at their little parties. Lock the door and burn them alive, maybe? He could have had them all arrested and fast-penta'd for their little compatriots and let them rot in jail until they died. He could have let them all suffocate outside their domes. He could have destroyed their trade economy and caused them to starve. He could have found their families and made them watch their children hang.
As always: He was paying for their soletta.
New: They danced on Aral's grave and Aral was dead and he had been dead for four weeks and Gregor would never see him again.
As always: Had his grand-uncle been the emperor, they would have all been tortured for months. His grand-uncle had been an ugly, violent, monstrous tyrant.
As always: Had his father ever become the emperor, they would have .... who knew, only that it would have been ugly, and violent, monstrous, and tyrannical?
New: Had his grandfather been the emperor, they would have all been disappeared. Had his grandfather paved the way for him? Yes. Did he respect and admire him? Yes. Had he been an ugly, violent, monstrous tyrant? Yes.
As always: He did not let the itching Vorbarra rage control him, not even now. Aral would have been furious. Worse than furious: disappointed.
New: Aral was dead and he felt emptier than ever.
As always: Keep an eye on it, but there's no need for action, he said. Let's see what happens, he said.
As always: He was awoken by the soft charm of the alarm. Kiss Laisa.
As always: Shower, shave, put on undershirt, look at schedule, get dressed. Breakfast. Coffee. A lot of coffee.
New: Breakfast was scheduled reading about his grandfather's reign and correspondence about it. Emperor Ezar was .... Emperor Ezar had wrenched the Empire from his mad cousin and had broken it in like one of Count Piotr Vorkosigan's horses. Ezar had had his own terror, his own madness, and those who had said so at the time did not say so twice.
New: Try not to think about the hole inside him where Aral had been. Four weeks now. Which was ridiculous, when he thought about it. Often times there was an item in the schedule which involved writing condolence letters to families of dead soldiers. He was being insensitive to those people, probably, that he did not, every day, wake up and think of all the times he would have appreciated their insight. And he wasn't even Aral's real son. And the empire still needed to be run. And Aral would have been furious, if he stopped running the empire.
New: No lunch meeting, which meant he got to have lunch with Laisa.
As always: If he got to have lunch with Laisa, the meeting after lunch would be the worst one of the day.
As always: Guy with a message from Duv. Komarr, then.
As always: Guy not happy about whatever he was about to say. Chief of Imperial Security was not a role where anyone was ever happy. Nearly as unhappy as Emperor of Barrayar, Gregor thought. Nice to know his subordinates couldn't win as much as he couldn't, sometimes. Guy had a folder.
New: Guy politely and politically disclaiming Duv thought Gregor should see the folder. Guy thought the Komarrans should have been shot. Guy had told Duv to shoot them. Duv had demanded Gregor see it before moving forward. Duv and Guy usually got along.
New: The contents of the folder.
As always: The itching rage of the blood that pumped in his veins. His mad grand-uncle had acted on it, throwing ministers out of windows, slaughtering his family. His real father had acted on it, brutalizing his prisoners before dying in the Escobar failure. He was more confident than ever that his grandfather had acted on it, too, forcing Barrayar to obey him and finding mysterious retirements for those who did not.
New: He missed Aral more than he thought it was possible to miss anyone in the world. He had been so low he had jumped off a balcony and run away to fix lights and how could this be worse?!
New: Komarran radicals and their unflattering celebrations of the death of Aral Vorkosigan, the Butcher of Komarr. The glee that Gregor could feel emanating from each page, each gruesome comic, each gory little drawing, each stupid sharp poem. Essays on how they wished to spit on his grave. Directions on how to reverse burn incense for him. Get-togethers to talk about how much they hated him and how terrible he was and how disgusting his behavior had been.
As always: He considered great and terrible violence against the enemies of his Imperium.
New: He could have mass-killed them at their little parties. Lock the door and burn them alive, maybe? He could have had them all arrested and fast-penta'd for their little compatriots and let them rot in jail until they died. He could have let them all suffocate outside their domes. He could have destroyed their trade economy and caused them to starve. He could have found their families and made them watch their children hang.
As always: He was paying for their soletta.
New: They danced on Aral's grave and Aral was dead and he had been dead for four weeks and Gregor would never see him again.
As always: Had his grand-uncle been the emperor, they would have all been tortured for months. His grand-uncle had been an ugly, violent, monstrous tyrant.
As always: Had his father ever become the emperor, they would have .... who knew, only that it would have been ugly, and violent, monstrous, and tyrannical?
New: Had his grandfather been the emperor, they would have all been disappeared. Had his grandfather paved the way for him? Yes. Did he respect and admire him? Yes. Had he been an ugly, violent, monstrous tyrant? Yes.
As always: He did not let the itching Vorbarra rage control him, not even now. Aral would have been furious. Worse than furious: disappointed.
New: Aral was dead and he felt emptier than ever.
As always: Keep an eye on it, but there's no need for action, he said. Let's see what happens, he said.