(no subject)

[iniquiticity]

Anonymous asked
greenhouses feels: first time calling each other by their first names is natural for them?

after they lay together the first time, after they had done this thing that seemed like winning - after they had solved the issue of the ships and kept lafayette and angered the other councilmen - for a while things were quiet. the arrangements to take lady schuyler and princess du noalles oversears could not be arranged by him, and his enemies waited because he seemed a particular hero with this new alliance and the “discovery” of the prince. so he went home. him and hamilton went home.

they usually had lunch and dinner together, for hamilton revealed that he loathed the early morning and breakfast, and that it had been the greatest suffering to eat breakfast with washington, when he had been trying to impress him. (at this washington had just laughed, for one man’s sacrifices were nothing like another’s, and no matter how much affection you had for a person there were always these mysteries and secrets.)

he taught hamilton more of the plants. hamilton asked a lot of questions about them. thus this was where they were often found, dirty and sweaty in the summer, potting and repotting, watering and writing doing research. then hamilton would cajole him into a glass of wine, or two, or three. soemtimes they would retire to their beds before dinner and come out only because meade knocked, and even then occasionally hamilton would complain.

strange, to feel comfortable without a schedule. to him the rigidity of his life had been a comfort, and the routineness of it easy and unthinking. and yet he took easy to putting down his studies and seeing what hamilton was doing in the mid-afternoons, which would be several hours of discussion and debate.

washington took to calling him dear or dearest. it was easy and soft and tender, and it disarmed him when it was angry. hamilton evidently liked it, because he would look at him too long, when he had started. washington knew the look. hamilton was distrustful of affection, until he became accustomed to it. so was the process. that accommodation was tenuous. in these moments, washington understood that he had to be careful, for he could be accused of wanting to take advantage. hamilton could not help himself but to think so, washington began to consider. washington could not help thinking he was terrible, and hamilton could not help thinking people wished to hurt him.

eventually hamilton started calling him george. this should not have been strange and yet it was. hamilton disdained titles whenever possible, and when he used them it was more commonly an insult. the ladies schuyler were angelica, eliza, and peggy - eliza’s wife was ‘eliza’s peggy.’ lord laurens was john, and lafayette was gilbert, and his friends were henry, john, martha, nathaniel.

and yet it was so strange, to be george. he was george to the generals and such, of course. but that was a different man. to be hamilton’s george was magnificent and strange and wonderful and terrible. and yet he rejoiced in it. delighted in it. could have had a holiday to every time hamilton looked up at him and say ‘george, do you not think that..?’ and ‘honestly, george, to think about…’

he had never minded being something strange so little. if he could only be this stranger called hamilton’s george, he could be content.