(no subject)

[iniquiticity]

Whamilton dance au, things get hot and heavy during a practice session, and George and Alex end up in a utility closet while Laf tries very, very hard to pretend that he has no idea what they're doing in there, nope, none at all. And during the video editing later, their sex hair is very obvious, and there may or may not be some hickeys where there were no hickeys before.

disclaimer: i obviously don’t know anything about filming a television show, or editing, or post-production.

“this better be good.”

max, the footage guy, sighs, “good is a relative term. what makes good tv?”

a sigh. “show me.”

“ok,” max says, and he points to monitor one, which is george and alex practicing tango. the gay biracial couple with the age difference is good for ratings and buzz and there’s no way they won’t play a big part in the show. only there’s an issue that they love each other too much, and it’s pretty obvious based on their simmering looks, and also:

“we’re going to have to shop out alex’s obvious fucking boner in this shot. and every subsequent shot. god, i’m glad i’m not an intern. although i kinda feel bad for the guy because he’s obviously stupidly in love and everyone just gives him a bunch of shit for it. but does he have to have a boner in like half the fucking footage?”

“well, tango is a pretty sexy dance. anyway, it’s worse,” max says, directs attention to a second monitor, which is lafayette - the perfect choreographer for the pair, naturally - drinking a bottle of water and looking into the camera like he’s in the office in the hallway. the frame’s paused midword. max hits play.

“—the ideal way i should be responding to this?” lafayette is saying in an exasperated voice to the camera. a low moan comes from offscreen; lafayette looks stage left, and the camera pans to a utility closet door. “should i be realistically responding to this? because look, alex and i are into the same thing, being that we both have terrible daddy issues and as a result are into older guys who hold us down. so i get that he wants to fuck his man all the time, becuase he hit the fucking jackpot.” there’s a thud from the closet, followed a barely-distinguishable fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck, low and lustful. “but obviously this is a PG show so his closet sex noises are probably not going to make it live. but should i be surprised? or do you want my real opinion, which is both: a) look i know you want to fuck but we have a show to learn, and also a television show to be in, and both b) will you guys have a threesome with me? i’m ddf & neg. i feel like my real opinions on this bit should probably not be in this cut.”

george, gasps the closet. there’s a sharp crack, flesh on flesh.

“or does one of the directors want to select my emotional response and we can just cut out the sex moans in editing?” grainy footage lafayette takes another drink of his water. “because we’re going to be cutting out a lot of sex moans and erections for tango.” he looks at his apple watch, “ok you know what? just turn the camera off and we’ll resume later.”

the bit stops there. max frowns.

“whatever, removing dick bulges is part of the intern rite of passage. is there more?”

“uh, more bad stuff.”

“ok, let’s see it.”

the next practice, alex does not at least have a visible dick bulge. but it’s not required, what with the mussed hair, red lips, pink cheeks, and, of fucking course, a giant hickey high on his neck, red and blotchy.

“maybe the reason there aren’t any gays on tv isn’t becuase they couldn’t stop fucking and editors wanted to strangle them for looking like they’re hookers who just got out of some politican’s car.”