(no subject)

[iniquiticity]

there was a new rumor, that had percolated through the market. thsi rumor had started, as most of them did, in mount vernon, when a bakerwoman had seen his excellency walking through the manor holding a plant. this was not all that unusual, and not worth the gossip, but there were two things about it that made it notable.

first: the plant was peculiar even by the standard of mount vernon, which regularly trafficked in very peculiar plants. first of all, it looked like some sort of locket or other type of container: two clamshell halves with a joint on the back. the slightly-open halves of the clamshell had little spines, which gave it the impression of a mouth with jagged teeth, like some kind of ragged wolf. if this was not odd enough, the plant had two little leaf-shoots, and those shoots and more shoots, until it looked much too much like a plant-person, with hands and a face and a body, the pot of which it was carried in small enough that his excellency held it in his hand against his chest.

second: his excellency had been seen talking to the plant, and then there was a voice that the bakerwoman did not recognize respond. his excellency had asked about soil conditions; the voice had replied, in a smug sort of voice, the answer to the question. it was a very conclusive answer, but one the washerwoman could hardly imagine a person giving - it was as if the mysterious voice lived in dirt, and had a whole specific understanding of dirt most people did not have.

it was like the plant had spoke back to him, she gossiped to her friend. and so of course this had become a thing, in the market, that general washington had a talking plant, until it circled back to lafayette, who came across his excellency sitting in his study with his plant. he was teaching the plant how to twiddle it’s plant-thumbs.

“the servants think you have gone mad and are taking to your plants, sir,” lafayette said, his eyebrows far into his forehead as he studied the events at present.

“Servants,” said the plant, dismissively, the clamshell mouth flexing disturbingly.

“Muscipula,” Washington said, to the plant, with a hint of discipline.