(no subject)

[iniquiticity]

rileymcdaniels asked
greenhouses: alexander gets gravely injured during the war?? SECRET STANDING AT BEDSIDES AND EVEN SECRETER KISSES TO HANDS????

There had been a struggle to disattach Alexander from his horse, for he had been shot, and bled quite profusely, and the blood had frozen to his clothes, and his saddle, and his flesh. As a result there was no hope for his jacket or his waistcoast or his undershirt, and even less for his breeches, and in the horrible comedy that came included in war, they had gotten him off the horse half-naked and taken him into the medical tent and stuffed whiskey-soaked clothes in his mouth while they removed the bullet from the man’s rib. It had all been very gruesome, although like many humans, alexander had calmed down considerably once the bullet had been taken out of his body and he had been wrapped up in bandages and had been fed more whiskey. then there were as many blankets as could be managed.

washington had heard all of this second-hand. he had been in a meeting, and the courier had reported to general sampson, who had been gifted with an excellent memory. she had read over the list of the injured and bit her lip. she knew, about general hamilton.

when she handed the list to washington, she did not leave. she watched him scan the paper, and saw the moment he saw the name. she saw his face go pale. he looked up at her, as if to want to be deluded otherwise. she nodded.

they knew the secret of general hamilton, but even if he was a general, then such treatment, even for general washington’s known military consort, in the, ah, absence of his husband, a bookish recluse –

it was difficult to express how awful sampson thought about the whole illusion. she had considered breaking the secret; she could have, maybe even without being discovered. but his excellency did not want to do it, and so she did not. she was loyal.

“the ill might be cheered by your presence, your excellency,” she said, as he very slowly set down the list and clenched his fist with his characteristic restraint. she wondered storm crackled inside her general.

“i will attend to them,” he said and his voice did not shake. she took a breath and touched his shoulder, even though she knew he did not much like to be touched. he looked at her, and took two slow breaths, perhaps gathering his composure - then, he met her eyes. he seemed unbreakable, immutable, indisputable. unmoved. she drew strength from it, sometimes. now she felt some indescribable guilt, that he was required to be this, when she knew he suffered.

he put a broad hand on her shoulder, gave it a squeeze, and walked past her, completely steady.

washington knew alexander was behind the privacy curtain. washington did not seem as if he wanted, immediately, to go there - he spoke to the soldiers, who babbled at him, who were worried about his flesh, but he had already beaten their illnesses. finally he was able to step behind the curtain to where his husband set. he closed it behind them.

“sir,” alexander breathed.

washington took his hand, and squeezed the sweaty fingers within his. he kissed each knuckle, with aching tenderness. “shh, dearest. concentrate on being well.” his voice was soft, so it did not carry. no one else could be in this moment, behind the curtain. “if you would permit yourself to be quiet for merely a moment, and i will lend you some of my strength.”

“you need it,” alexander murmured, and one eye flickered a quarter-open. “this is no trouble.”

washington did not roll his eyes, even though he wanted to. alexander could not be stubborn; now, he needed his own strength. “I love you.”

alexander nodded, a twitch of his head. “i love you,” he said. he made a rattling, pained sigh that washington used his long-famous control to not let the anguish that raked across his chest like a burning brand to show on his face. “wait,” he said, and then he closed his eyes, and just breathed, with the evenness of exhaustion.

washington knew he should not have said. but he did, and held that hand for a long time, and let others do his duties.