(no subject)

[iniquiticity]

Hell of a week and his brain’s on fire. First work: some engineer fucked something up, screwing up all their data and meaning that eveyr presentation Alex did in the last three weeks was wrong, which was a round of apologetic emails and phone calls and correcting data, and being yelled out by some assholes he doesn’t care about. Secondly, Washington: refusing him and his advances, which is frustrating on like 30 different levels that he can’t express. It’s not even outwardly refusing. It’s just his cold shoulder, when Alex knows Washington knows, and yet he blandly ignores his innuendo and his low shirt collar which reveals the beginnings of a hickey at his throat. Thirdly, his own brain: shouting in every direction, many of them unpleasant: MAYBE YOU COULD JUST END IT? his brain suggests loudly at 3am, untill he stifles it with rye. IT ISN’T LIKE ANYONE WOULD NOTICE. BESIDES WASHINGTON. WHO WOULD GET HIS SHIRTS PRESSED? THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE GOOD FOR. ASSISTANT. ASSISTANT!!! PET DOG!! CHAINED ANIMAL!!

He knows the mood. He just has to work through it. If he can go three or four days without ODing on coke or liquor or drinking bleach or cutting his wrists, he’ll be ok. Washington would be annoyed if he killed himself in his office. Might be worth it just for that, heartless pile of shit.

Grindr, instead. Changes his bio. Posts on craigslist. how many cocks can i take? you find out.

He finds enough people that their voices and the sound of their groans muffles ASSISTANT!! ASSISTANT!!! that wails in his head like a fire alarm. finds men who are disinterested in him completely aside from the fact that he’s naked and comes pre-bruised. The fire alarm is drowned out by the force of stretch and a sore jaw and the hard pulse of a man’s cock in his hand. Come, hot, splatters on his skin, down his thighs, salt in his mouth. A hand pulls his hair. He can turn the sirens off if he tears out the wiring, if he sets fire to the speakers, if he detonates the building, if there’s nothing left. Fire alarms don’t go off in skeletons.