(no subject)

[iniquiticity]

so like my main ironflint thought is about the ending. did washington actually fire alexander? would that even suffice to end everything between them entirely? these thoughts plague me. also, as self destructive and terrible as alexander is, i want him to be happy. is he happy in his own terrible way?

the story is ambiguous and i’m leaving it like that. i don’t know if washington is capable enough of quitting alex because he likes the way alex submits himself because he’s a control freak, and also alex is really into being beaten by that view him as an object, so .. it’s bad. it’s really bad. it’s a bad story. the fact is, alex is damaged and washington is twisted, and that’s what makes them compatible. alex desires someone who will hit him around and not care about his mental health, and washington is a control freak that wants to be submitted to by someone who won’t make demands of his time and energy.

One of my favorite things about the story is that alex has all these problems, right? but his mental health is bad, and while there’s a part of him that makes bad choices, he’s also got a really unsteady platform to make those choices on. But Washington on the other hand, is relatively stable person, who has actively decided to make the choices that he makes: to value the company above people, to suppress his rage rather than deal with constructively, to spend his time working and not doing something else, to be what he is.

i don’t know what would be required to make their fucked up thing end. i don’t see alex stopping throwing himself at washington unless something really bad happened [in all honesty i’m not even sure alex would stop even if some noncon happened - but i’m not sure]. i’d be interested to see in what case washington would make a significant effort to get alex out of his life. i’d have to think about.

as for alex being happy: i don’t know. i mean, i think that him working all the time is good for him because he just can’t handle it when he doesn’t have something to do. not only does he not have any chill, he doesn’t even know what to do in the absence of chill. he’s like one of those dogs that if he doesn’t exercise, he just rips up your couch and shit. and if nothing else, he always has plenty of shit to do for washington. and washington needs alex to be the most efficient for him, so while he sometimes encourages his mania, i do think that if alex really started to damage himself, washington would be like “you have an pneuemonia and i’m taking you to the hospital and take your pills” and bug him to take his medicine, and feed him spinach and grilled chicken. i don’t think alex is getting on mood stabilizers and going to therapy though.

wow, that’s a long paragraph. i don’t know if alex is happy. but he’s focused and intent and put to work and it’s in washington’s best interest to keep him in pretty good running shape, and that’s a lot better than he’s done in a lot of other parts of his life.