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Jan. 14th, 2026 08:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
iniquiticityXav has a bad feeling, the night of the massacre.
"Don't go to Sonia," he said, to his wife.
They were dressing up to go to Padma's first birthday party when Xav turned to her. Even these days she still couldn't say she preferred the Vor maiden skirts; the fact that they lived a distance from the capital made it, at least, that she rarely needed to wear them. That was the perk of being The Betan Wife, one of many - the idea that she might prefer strange clothes was shrugged off.
Xav was looking troubled. He had been, more than normal, these days. Yuri was -- Yuri was a problem. Yuri had steadily become more of a problem. Her parents had been messaging him about what the rest of the galaxy knew about him, and she hadn't had the heart to say it was a fraction of his awfulness. They were surrounded by Xav's guards every moment of every day, though, and Xav did everything he could, every moment, to try to be the subservient half-brother that he was.
He was also in his uniform greens, her least favorite outfits of his. Xav had never quite shaken himself out of the quasi-military suits he wore, but at least it was better than the literal military uniform he'd worn for the first two decades of their acquaintance.
"What is it?" she asked him, neatening her black skirts. Black and silver was, at least, a great color combination; she'd seen some of the other house colors and felt bad.
"I....." he said, trailing off. The stiff shoulders of the green uniform never fit him. He had adopted a mixed uniform as the diplomat she'd fallen head-over-heels with - so head-over-heels that not even Xav's worries about his family could stop her from coming here. He had refused to leave. And Barrayar was beautiful, after all.
"Before I begin," he said, and smiled at her, and oh, there was the Xav that had told the story of his people and sold the Betan government on them, "Can I just say that, I know how you feel about Vor skirts, but I am a simple man and when I see you in them I forget anything at all is wrong in the world? You are the most beautiful thing in the galaxy and I feel comfortable in asserting I am the most well-travelled Barrayaran since the Firsters."
"You've flattered me," she said, giving the skirts a little swish and watching him absolutely melt. "Now out with it."
He swallowed, and stood back up, and took her hands. "Don't go to Sonia's birthday. Stay here."
Her eyebrows went up, and her hands slipped from his. "You're telling me not to go to my daughter’s birthday?"
"That's what I'm saying."
"Why not?"
"I have a bad feeling." Xav took a step back from her, his brow furrowed, staring at the floor. He ran his hands over his uniform pants, a fidget. "I've survived this long by trusting my instincts about Yuri, and I don't think I've ever felt so....Something bad is about to happen."
"But you're going?" She frowned, folding her arms across her chest.
"Yes," he said, with an affirmative nod, "The only thing worse than being where Yuri expects you to be is to not be where he expects you to be."
"Doesn't he expect me to be there?" The last interaction she had had with Xav's half-brother, the Emperor Yuri Vorbarra, had been on the Emperor's birthday - Yuri's birthday, which was in autumn. (She loved seasons.) There was no doubt that there was something wrong with Yuri, that he was not good for Barrayar. Xav was terrified of him. Xav had confided to her that one day Yuri would die and he would pick up the pieces of the empire after that. Yuri had touched her face in a way he was certain she wanted her to flinch at.
"No, he doesn't care about you," Xav responded, staring out the window of the house up into the Bonsanklar village, "Or he hates you, depending on his moods. Either way, the more distance you can put between him and you, the better."
"My love," she said, taking his hands again. After Barrayar had been freed he had lived on Beta Colony for about a year and hated every moment of it. He would sit in their apartment and long for the sky and the trees and the mountains and the lakes and bitterly comment that his family was one of murderous lunatics and it was death to go back to them. And he could not escape them. It seemed to her that he would never not be torn.
"In a few weeks," he said, "We can go to Vorkosigan Surleau, or any of the Vorpatril beach houses, or Sonia can bring Padma here. A second birthday. And Aral loves this house, after all, if we decide it should be here. I promise." She sometimes wondered what was the point of Betan communication if it could not fix the obvious agony and fear that lined her husband's face. "Just. Please. Don't go. And when I get home, you can relentlessly make fun of me for this, and be upset at me that you haven't met Padma, and it will be so funny. I'll flee into the forest to avoid your teasing."
"You know I had to squeeze Sonia out of my own body because of you."
"I know. Barbaric and uncivilized. And so on." With sudden quickenness, his arms were around her. "What did you see in me, you beautiful galactic?"
"The same thing I see in you now, you savage Barrayaran," she teased, and lifted her head to kiss him. "Okay. I'll stay. But you're going to hear about it."
"I'm so excited." He took a step back from her, eyes glinting to try to hide his fear, "What will you do, to punish me for my insubordination? At least you don't have to wear your skirts."
"At least I don't have to wear my skirts," she was forced to agree.
He gave her a kiss. "I'll be back as soon as I can leave without looking foolish."
"That is not true," she responded, "Once you get surrounded by enough Vor, you immediately realize you can't leave without drinking so much you start firing your bullet weapons out the windows, start throwing up, and fall asleep on some animal carpet made by one of your ancestors."
"Touche," he said, and the real laugh came out of him, "I'll message you on Sonia's comconsole when I wake up from my animal carpet sleep. I can't imagine that it will be any later than tomorrow night. I love you."
"I love you."
He gave her another kiss and then took a step back.
"Fall in, armsmen," he said, in his sharpest military voice. It was somewhat insane to think that she had become used to having so many bodyguards. It did set her neckhairs a little too straight to see how many he was taking in their little lightflyer convoy. She could always tell how much he was actually worrying by the number of armsmen. This was most of them.
He did not call that morning, which might have indicated avoiding some sort of animal carpet shenanigans.
He also did not call that night.
When she woke up the next morning she was beginning to get worried. She washed and dressed.
"Kelrick," she said, to one of the armsmen that had been left "Has the Prince or his armsmen contacted you?"
"No, Princess," Kelrick said, extremely gravely.
She went back inside and called Sonia's comconsole, to no response. Then she called Olivia's, to no response.
She closed her eyes. Then she called them all again and got no response.
"Kelrick," she said, weakly.
"Yes, Princess," he answered, his tone flat.
"Where is my husband?"
Kelrick stared at the commconsole. Then, his hand resting easily on his plasma weapon, he said, "If Emperor Yuri had him, and he hated you, he would be sure to let you know."
She choked off a half-laugh, half-sob.
"That sort of thing brings you Barrayarans comfort?"
"Unfortunately it does, my lady."
She called Vorkosigan Surleau, just in case, and Sonia's favorite beach manor.
Then she sat down on the floor next to the commconsole and stared at her legs.
"If my lady would not sit on the floor," Kelrick said, above her, "It can be hard to pick you up if we need to move quickly."
She stared up at him, and then took the hand he offered back to her feet. Then, still watching him, as if Kelrick's alert battle posture could somehow make sense of it. She sat herself in the chair in front of the commconsole instead, which he seemed to approve of.
She hadn't had breakfast. They grew so much of their own food on Barrayar, and on several occasions they had visited the wide, sweeping fields of grain. They had, with rapid speed, exported all the greenhouse technology in the universe. No doubt related to the isolation that had transformed them into their neo-feudal, honor-based, violence-wrecked current state of culture, they were also incredibly devoted, hard-working, creative people. The farmers had been amazed by her, knelt to Xav - their prince - who had accepted this as easy as breathing.
She ate some breakfast. Outside the mountains were beautiful, unperturbed by her missing husband. Technically, their primary residence was still in Vorbarr Sultana, though the total number of nights they had stayed there over the past two years was..... ten? There were always celebrations around the Emperor's Birthday, which they were required to attend. Winterfair, of course. Midsummer.
There had been a few glorious years there, between the end of the Occupation, when Xav's father Dorca - who had been a piece of work himself, she thought - was still alive. By Betan standard he'd died young, but by Barrayaran standard he'd been ancient and one of the most decorated Barrayarans of all time. They'd lived in the city there, and that had been wonderful, to have her children all around her. Barrayarans were a culture of certified lunatics, that was for sure.
"Yuri and My-Father-The-Emperor both think Olivia should marry Piotr Vorkosigan," he had said, apropos of nothing, "And I can't come up with a single reason that would convince them otherwise."
She had blinked at him, a lot more naive then. "What about if she doesn't want to?"
He had blinked back at her back, before the epiphany broke on his face.
“Not a good enough reason," he said, "All of our children will have arranged marriages. No one objected to us because, first, it reduces my claim to the throne to marry a foreigner, second, it's politically advantageous. Not to mention I'm pretty sure most of the other families were concerned I would corrupt their daughters with my galactic ways. Not that that would stop them from getting a prince or princess out of it, of course."
Xav found Piotr Vorkosigan the most backwards of them all, and when he had been more involved in the politics of his country every family meeting had also involved an argument about dueling.
After the issue with the Privy Council, though, they had both agreed it was ideal. She had wanted to throw up. How could this man lead their planet?
Here, now, the beautiful forests, their crisp air, and the spectacular mountains were there. And Xav was... where?
"Kelrick," she said, hollow.
"Yes, Princess."
"At what point do you think I should go home?"
"To Beta Colony, Princess?"
"Yes."
"I'd give it a few more days."
(Olivia had, in the most Barrayaran way possible, loved Piotr Vorkosigan from the day she'd met him. And Piotr had been awestruck by her ferocity.)
She took a pacing, angry walk, surrounded by Xav's armsmen. She couldn't leave them here, of course. Could she? No, if Yuri had finally killed Xav, as he'd always feared, his armsmen - their armsmen - were too closely affiliated. Well. She could ask them, at least. They would qualify for refugee status on Beta Colony, and she made a good sponsor. She could have her old job back, maybe.
She could take the lightflyer to the shuttleport, which wasn't even that far, anyway - it wasn't like there was much from here she'd want to keep, after all.
On the four day the commconsole piece and Xav appeared on the vidplate and Armsmen Nelt caught her when she sagged with relief.
"Em!"
"Xav!"
She threw herself out of the armsman's hands and back to the vidplate. "You're alive! Where are you? What happened? I was about to leave!"
Once the initial wave of relief had washed over her, she could actually see where he was. He was in a…. Cave? Where was he? He was not wearing the dress greens that he had left in. There was a cut on his face.
"Em," he said, with the same composure--gathering, "I am going to Beta Colony and you should too. Bring the armsmen and send their families underground, they know what to do. I'll meet you there. Has Yuri bothered you at all?"
She stared at the glowing image, blinking. She knew this Xav, that voice, the tenseness radiating off him that had driven his determination the first time around. She'd teased him about it, after: Don't go War Xav on me.
War Xav was staring at her.
"No, all clear here," she said, "Where are you? I called every Vorpatril house we have stored, I called the Surleau, I called Vorkosigan house --"
"Em," he began.
"They're all dead," said the fierce voice of Piotr Vorkosigan, her son in law, stepping into the camera, "Olivia, Selig and Anna are dead. I have Aral here. Sonia fled with Padma. I can't imagine they survived but not confirmed."
"Piotr--"
"The Prince and I are going to unseat that psychotic ocean scum that has done nothing to destabilize my planet since the day his father died. My only regret is not acting earlier. Assistance from the Betans would be greatly appreciated, Princess. In fact, Betan assistance would speed the matter up entirely, as we'll have the most up-to-date weaponry and they'll be several years behind. Better than playing catch-up with the Cetas, that's for sure."
Her head spun. Her breakfast roiled. It was good that she was sitting.
Dead?
"We're in the Dendarii mountains," Xav continued, "Oh. You should meet the new Emperor. This is Ezar."
The man who stepped into the vidplate was a soldier, a handful of years younger than Piotr. She recognized his name - he had been one of Piotr's squadmates.
"A pleasure and honor to meet you, Princess," he said, "Though terrible for it to be in such a situation. My condolences on the loss of your family. I will not let it be forgotten or go unavenged."
"Thank you," she offered.
New emperor? Civil war.
Civil war.
What Xav had always feared, and here it was.
And her children... - Olivia - her grandchildren --
"Beta Colony," she said.
Xav took back over the primary viewing area, turning back from glaring off screen, no doubt at something Piotr had said that hadn't been picked up.
"Beta Colony. I'll meet you there as soon as possible. I love you."
The vidplate winked out. She stared at it, trying to get her body to move.
"Don't go to Sonia," he said, to his wife.
They were dressing up to go to Padma's first birthday party when Xav turned to her. Even these days she still couldn't say she preferred the Vor maiden skirts; the fact that they lived a distance from the capital made it, at least, that she rarely needed to wear them. That was the perk of being The Betan Wife, one of many - the idea that she might prefer strange clothes was shrugged off.
Xav was looking troubled. He had been, more than normal, these days. Yuri was -- Yuri was a problem. Yuri had steadily become more of a problem. Her parents had been messaging him about what the rest of the galaxy knew about him, and she hadn't had the heart to say it was a fraction of his awfulness. They were surrounded by Xav's guards every moment of every day, though, and Xav did everything he could, every moment, to try to be the subservient half-brother that he was.
He was also in his uniform greens, her least favorite outfits of his. Xav had never quite shaken himself out of the quasi-military suits he wore, but at least it was better than the literal military uniform he'd worn for the first two decades of their acquaintance.
"What is it?" she asked him, neatening her black skirts. Black and silver was, at least, a great color combination; she'd seen some of the other house colors and felt bad.
"I....." he said, trailing off. The stiff shoulders of the green uniform never fit him. He had adopted a mixed uniform as the diplomat she'd fallen head-over-heels with - so head-over-heels that not even Xav's worries about his family could stop her from coming here. He had refused to leave. And Barrayar was beautiful, after all.
"Before I begin," he said, and smiled at her, and oh, there was the Xav that had told the story of his people and sold the Betan government on them, "Can I just say that, I know how you feel about Vor skirts, but I am a simple man and when I see you in them I forget anything at all is wrong in the world? You are the most beautiful thing in the galaxy and I feel comfortable in asserting I am the most well-travelled Barrayaran since the Firsters."
"You've flattered me," she said, giving the skirts a little swish and watching him absolutely melt. "Now out with it."
He swallowed, and stood back up, and took her hands. "Don't go to Sonia's birthday. Stay here."
Her eyebrows went up, and her hands slipped from his. "You're telling me not to go to my daughter’s birthday?"
"That's what I'm saying."
"Why not?"
"I have a bad feeling." Xav took a step back from her, his brow furrowed, staring at the floor. He ran his hands over his uniform pants, a fidget. "I've survived this long by trusting my instincts about Yuri, and I don't think I've ever felt so....Something bad is about to happen."
"But you're going?" She frowned, folding her arms across her chest.
"Yes," he said, with an affirmative nod, "The only thing worse than being where Yuri expects you to be is to not be where he expects you to be."
"Doesn't he expect me to be there?" The last interaction she had had with Xav's half-brother, the Emperor Yuri Vorbarra, had been on the Emperor's birthday - Yuri's birthday, which was in autumn. (She loved seasons.) There was no doubt that there was something wrong with Yuri, that he was not good for Barrayar. Xav was terrified of him. Xav had confided to her that one day Yuri would die and he would pick up the pieces of the empire after that. Yuri had touched her face in a way he was certain she wanted her to flinch at.
"No, he doesn't care about you," Xav responded, staring out the window of the house up into the Bonsanklar village, "Or he hates you, depending on his moods. Either way, the more distance you can put between him and you, the better."
"My love," she said, taking his hands again. After Barrayar had been freed he had lived on Beta Colony for about a year and hated every moment of it. He would sit in their apartment and long for the sky and the trees and the mountains and the lakes and bitterly comment that his family was one of murderous lunatics and it was death to go back to them. And he could not escape them. It seemed to her that he would never not be torn.
"In a few weeks," he said, "We can go to Vorkosigan Surleau, or any of the Vorpatril beach houses, or Sonia can bring Padma here. A second birthday. And Aral loves this house, after all, if we decide it should be here. I promise." She sometimes wondered what was the point of Betan communication if it could not fix the obvious agony and fear that lined her husband's face. "Just. Please. Don't go. And when I get home, you can relentlessly make fun of me for this, and be upset at me that you haven't met Padma, and it will be so funny. I'll flee into the forest to avoid your teasing."
"You know I had to squeeze Sonia out of my own body because of you."
"I know. Barbaric and uncivilized. And so on." With sudden quickenness, his arms were around her. "What did you see in me, you beautiful galactic?"
"The same thing I see in you now, you savage Barrayaran," she teased, and lifted her head to kiss him. "Okay. I'll stay. But you're going to hear about it."
"I'm so excited." He took a step back from her, eyes glinting to try to hide his fear, "What will you do, to punish me for my insubordination? At least you don't have to wear your skirts."
"At least I don't have to wear my skirts," she was forced to agree.
He gave her a kiss. "I'll be back as soon as I can leave without looking foolish."
"That is not true," she responded, "Once you get surrounded by enough Vor, you immediately realize you can't leave without drinking so much you start firing your bullet weapons out the windows, start throwing up, and fall asleep on some animal carpet made by one of your ancestors."
"Touche," he said, and the real laugh came out of him, "I'll message you on Sonia's comconsole when I wake up from my animal carpet sleep. I can't imagine that it will be any later than tomorrow night. I love you."
"I love you."
He gave her another kiss and then took a step back.
"Fall in, armsmen," he said, in his sharpest military voice. It was somewhat insane to think that she had become used to having so many bodyguards. It did set her neckhairs a little too straight to see how many he was taking in their little lightflyer convoy. She could always tell how much he was actually worrying by the number of armsmen. This was most of them.
He did not call that morning, which might have indicated avoiding some sort of animal carpet shenanigans.
He also did not call that night.
When she woke up the next morning she was beginning to get worried. She washed and dressed.
"Kelrick," she said, to one of the armsmen that had been left "Has the Prince or his armsmen contacted you?"
"No, Princess," Kelrick said, extremely gravely.
She went back inside and called Sonia's comconsole, to no response. Then she called Olivia's, to no response.
She closed her eyes. Then she called them all again and got no response.
"Kelrick," she said, weakly.
"Yes, Princess," he answered, his tone flat.
"Where is my husband?"
Kelrick stared at the commconsole. Then, his hand resting easily on his plasma weapon, he said, "If Emperor Yuri had him, and he hated you, he would be sure to let you know."
She choked off a half-laugh, half-sob.
"That sort of thing brings you Barrayarans comfort?"
"Unfortunately it does, my lady."
She called Vorkosigan Surleau, just in case, and Sonia's favorite beach manor.
Then she sat down on the floor next to the commconsole and stared at her legs.
"If my lady would not sit on the floor," Kelrick said, above her, "It can be hard to pick you up if we need to move quickly."
She stared up at him, and then took the hand he offered back to her feet. Then, still watching him, as if Kelrick's alert battle posture could somehow make sense of it. She sat herself in the chair in front of the commconsole instead, which he seemed to approve of.
She hadn't had breakfast. They grew so much of their own food on Barrayar, and on several occasions they had visited the wide, sweeping fields of grain. They had, with rapid speed, exported all the greenhouse technology in the universe. No doubt related to the isolation that had transformed them into their neo-feudal, honor-based, violence-wrecked current state of culture, they were also incredibly devoted, hard-working, creative people. The farmers had been amazed by her, knelt to Xav - their prince - who had accepted this as easy as breathing.
She ate some breakfast. Outside the mountains were beautiful, unperturbed by her missing husband. Technically, their primary residence was still in Vorbarr Sultana, though the total number of nights they had stayed there over the past two years was..... ten? There were always celebrations around the Emperor's Birthday, which they were required to attend. Winterfair, of course. Midsummer.
There had been a few glorious years there, between the end of the Occupation, when Xav's father Dorca - who had been a piece of work himself, she thought - was still alive. By Betan standard he'd died young, but by Barrayaran standard he'd been ancient and one of the most decorated Barrayarans of all time. They'd lived in the city there, and that had been wonderful, to have her children all around her. Barrayarans were a culture of certified lunatics, that was for sure.
"Yuri and My-Father-The-Emperor both think Olivia should marry Piotr Vorkosigan," he had said, apropos of nothing, "And I can't come up with a single reason that would convince them otherwise."
She had blinked at him, a lot more naive then. "What about if she doesn't want to?"
He had blinked back at her back, before the epiphany broke on his face.
“Not a good enough reason," he said, "All of our children will have arranged marriages. No one objected to us because, first, it reduces my claim to the throne to marry a foreigner, second, it's politically advantageous. Not to mention I'm pretty sure most of the other families were concerned I would corrupt their daughters with my galactic ways. Not that that would stop them from getting a prince or princess out of it, of course."
Xav found Piotr Vorkosigan the most backwards of them all, and when he had been more involved in the politics of his country every family meeting had also involved an argument about dueling.
After the issue with the Privy Council, though, they had both agreed it was ideal. She had wanted to throw up. How could this man lead their planet?
Here, now, the beautiful forests, their crisp air, and the spectacular mountains were there. And Xav was... where?
"Kelrick," she said, hollow.
"Yes, Princess."
"At what point do you think I should go home?"
"To Beta Colony, Princess?"
"Yes."
"I'd give it a few more days."
(Olivia had, in the most Barrayaran way possible, loved Piotr Vorkosigan from the day she'd met him. And Piotr had been awestruck by her ferocity.)
She took a pacing, angry walk, surrounded by Xav's armsmen. She couldn't leave them here, of course. Could she? No, if Yuri had finally killed Xav, as he'd always feared, his armsmen - their armsmen - were too closely affiliated. Well. She could ask them, at least. They would qualify for refugee status on Beta Colony, and she made a good sponsor. She could have her old job back, maybe.
She could take the lightflyer to the shuttleport, which wasn't even that far, anyway - it wasn't like there was much from here she'd want to keep, after all.
On the four day the commconsole piece and Xav appeared on the vidplate and Armsmen Nelt caught her when she sagged with relief.
"Em!"
"Xav!"
She threw herself out of the armsman's hands and back to the vidplate. "You're alive! Where are you? What happened? I was about to leave!"
Once the initial wave of relief had washed over her, she could actually see where he was. He was in a…. Cave? Where was he? He was not wearing the dress greens that he had left in. There was a cut on his face.
"Em," he said, with the same composure--gathering, "I am going to Beta Colony and you should too. Bring the armsmen and send their families underground, they know what to do. I'll meet you there. Has Yuri bothered you at all?"
She stared at the glowing image, blinking. She knew this Xav, that voice, the tenseness radiating off him that had driven his determination the first time around. She'd teased him about it, after: Don't go War Xav on me.
War Xav was staring at her.
"No, all clear here," she said, "Where are you? I called every Vorpatril house we have stored, I called the Surleau, I called Vorkosigan house --"
"Em," he began.
"They're all dead," said the fierce voice of Piotr Vorkosigan, her son in law, stepping into the camera, "Olivia, Selig and Anna are dead. I have Aral here. Sonia fled with Padma. I can't imagine they survived but not confirmed."
"Piotr--"
"The Prince and I are going to unseat that psychotic ocean scum that has done nothing to destabilize my planet since the day his father died. My only regret is not acting earlier. Assistance from the Betans would be greatly appreciated, Princess. In fact, Betan assistance would speed the matter up entirely, as we'll have the most up-to-date weaponry and they'll be several years behind. Better than playing catch-up with the Cetas, that's for sure."
Her head spun. Her breakfast roiled. It was good that she was sitting.
Dead?
"We're in the Dendarii mountains," Xav continued, "Oh. You should meet the new Emperor. This is Ezar."
The man who stepped into the vidplate was a soldier, a handful of years younger than Piotr. She recognized his name - he had been one of Piotr's squadmates.
"A pleasure and honor to meet you, Princess," he said, "Though terrible for it to be in such a situation. My condolences on the loss of your family. I will not let it be forgotten or go unavenged."
"Thank you," she offered.
New emperor? Civil war.
Civil war.
What Xav had always feared, and here it was.
And her children... - Olivia - her grandchildren --
"Beta Colony," she said.
Xav took back over the primary viewing area, turning back from glaring off screen, no doubt at something Piotr had said that hadn't been picked up.
"Beta Colony. I'll meet you there as soon as possible. I love you."
The vidplate winked out. She stared at it, trying to get her body to move.